@Hoosier_RN said, in another thread, "I no longer socialize with coworkers. I'm friendly, but professional, and need that separation to keep myself fresh. I've found that if I hang out with work chums, all we talk about is work, and this just adds to the feelings of 28 years that are not the same as my feelings when I began years ago. I surround myself with people who share my other interests", which set me to thinking.
There's a common ground that we Nurses feel with our compadres, having been in the front trenches, relying upon one another. We feel especially close to those who have the same high standards as do we.
"All we talk about is work" is often the chain that binds our relationship. The chain, the bond of our relationship, our work, defines our relationship. Often times, when that bond is broken, so goes the relationship.
Hoosier's action of loosening that bond a bit can be seen as a two edged sword. We need the camaraderie, but we also need to divert our attention and pursue other interests. We need to possess something else which is important to us in order to refresh ourselves so that we may return to the workaday world.
My closest coworker/friends at Wrongway Regional Medical Center in geriatric psych were my work wife Eleanor and my brother in arms Rooty Payne, psych tech. In response to Hoosier's post, I said, "I've had some of the best, closest relationships with people I've worked with, only to have them fade away once that chain is broken. Even though one or the other of us tries to keep the friendship momentum going, it never lasts.
I figure one of the reasons is because I'm such a loner, keep to myself, and am attracted to others who choose a similar lifestyle."
Eleanor and Rooty are like me, in that they are fulfilled within their own lives and do not need a relationship with me in order to carry on. I haven't communicated with Eleanor, except though Rooty, since I was "Fired & Retired" from Wrongway nearly a year ago, and I'm okay with that. I'm sure Eleanor is, also.
Rooty and I communicate through emails and texts every so often, but we discuss little to nothing about Wrongway. Our conversations mainly focus on our interests, our respective spouses, and the fun we have chiding each other.
The reasons why I believe Rooty and my relationship has continued is due to his moves to stay in contact, our fondness for each other, but also because of my little Sister's death last Spring. Rooty asked if there was anything that he could do, and I replied, "Yeah- just keep in contact". Rooty has done just that.
It's nice to know that Rooty and my common ground continues and may or may not be enhanced at any given point. But what is important is the fact that we once shared a common ground of nursing.